RULES FOR WHITE ELEPHANT PARTY:
By Me.
Everyone who attends the party (all humanoids) should bring a wrapped "gift." I use the term "gift" in parenthesis because it could be rubber dog vomit or a moldy can of peas. It's really up to you. Creativity breeds fun and fun breeds laughter and laughter breeds fear which breeds hate which leads to the dark side. But I digress. Usually I find all that stuff that I was going to take to the Salvation Army and rummage through it for stuff that makes me giggle. Then I box it up.
Once all the parties are gathered, the participants draw names from a hat. The number each person draws represents the order in which they will pick a present. Like at the post office, but with less homicidal people. Naturally, #1 goes first, then #2 and so on. If you have a question about this construct, ponder instead the installation of a screen door on a submarine. Then hit yourself in the temples with a rubber mallet a few times and turn in your college and/or high school degree and re-enroll as a third grader at the local "school for the gifted."
#1 will pick a gift, unwrap it, we'll all laugh (or gasp in horror because it's a mutated snapping turtle that had been genetically combined with a japanese martial arts expert, contained in a jar of formaldehyde) and then share a story about how you came into possession of the item/junk/mutant ninja turtle. Then we'll laugh again, assuming the story was funny. If it's shocking or dramatic, we reserve the right to cry or even storm out of the room in disgust. No one is allowed to throw or otherwise propel the cans of moldy peas.
Then, at such time as the room has reconvened, #2 will pick either to "steal" #1's gift or pick from the wrapped presents. If #1's gift is stolen, he or she then gets to either draw again from the pile of wrapped up human refuse, aka the "presents," or steal another participating party's present, subject to the rule set forth below capping the number of personal property asset transfers at two. The original draw from the pile does not count as a "qualified transfer event."
Each gift that is opened can undergo a "qualified transfer event" (hereinafter referred to as a "QTE") twice. Then, after two QTEs, title become irrevocably vested in the then current possesor, and the tangible personal property asset is unable to be subject of a QTE again. Thusly, once three people touch the item, the third person gets it forever. On a lighter note, we should all bring something to eat and/or drink. I had some lactose free Egg Nogg the other day that was pretty tasty.
Enough for today.
